There's No Such Thing As a Perfect Parent! - Derby Days Out Blog
Date
5th December 2017

The last time I had a newborn was 10 years ago. Now I know 2007 was hardly the dark ages but there was nowhere near the volume of information out there than there is now.

The internet has had a whole decade to build up blogs and forums and comments and not just from professionals but actual mums. The internet has given everyone with access to it - a voice.

Now don’t get me wrong - this can be hugely beneficial! To hear from other mums going through what you’re going through can be massively reassuring. I’ve lost count of how many ‘middle of the night google searches’ I’ve done - throughout my pregnancy and in these first two months on Poppy’s life! Im pretty sure that won’t stop for a while either.

 

And this great but.... there’s soooo much conflicting advice out there that even a seasoned parent would end up confused (I am that seasoned parent!!) let alone a new parent.

 

Even the strongest parental intuition/instincts have a little wobble when you read a blog written with such gusto and quite frankly borderline aggression!

You start to question yourself, your parenting style, your baby, heck your whole blummin life when you read these articles, posts or comments written by ‘perfect parents.’

Here’s the thing though - and I have honestly only really just realised this (hence this blog!) there is....wait for it... NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT PARENT! Sorry for the shouty capitals! I wrote it with a smile not a frown. Because it’s a revelation and as soon as I realised this it made me do a little sigh of relief!


You could say - "Don’t google search then." Well 1) yeah right, like that’s gonna happen! And 2) it can be super helpful but what I now realise is that I don’t need to read these and start questioning everything I’ve ever done - I can read it and have some choice with what to do with the info:

  1. Agree with it
  2. Disagree with it
  3. Agree with some bits, disagree with others
  4. Remember that it’s one mothers opinion

Here’s what I won’t be doing anymore:

  1. Questioning my parenting style and ultimately my mother’s intuition - it’s a powerful tool that doesn’t let you down
  2. Feel guilty about something I do / don’t do
  3. Take what’s written as absolutely truth and fact. Every baby is different and what works for them may not work for us. And that’s ok.
  4. Here’s some things I’ve read about that have such conflicting views and arguments and I’ve written down what actually matters: (ps remember I am one Mum and this is just my opinion - so feel free to agree, disagree or a bit of both as stated above!)
  • Breast vs bottle. What matters: baby is fed
  • Cotton wool vs wipes. What matters: baby is clean
  • Disposable nappies vs reusable. What matters: baby is dry
  • Baby led feeding vs parent led. What matters: baby is eating
  • Cot vs co-sleeping.. What matters: baby has somewhere safe to sleep
  • Single parent vs two parents What matters: baby is looked after
  • Siblings vs only child. What matters: baby is loved
  • Dummy vs no dummy. What matters: baby is content


It's only natural to question yourself as a parent, after all it is the hardest and most important job you'll ever have. But don't be hard on yourself because I'm sure you're doing your absolute best. Remember...

Natalie x

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